Tuesday, 11 June 2013

THE MOST TOUCHING SUCIDE NOTE EVER! I LOST MY SELF IN LOVING YOU - BOLLYWOOD ACTRESS WHO COMMITED SUICIDE TO HER BOYFRIEND

Suraj Pancholi, the boyfriend of Bollywood actress, 25-year-old Jiah Khan, who was found dead at her home in Mumbai last week, (read it HERE) has been arrested on suspicion of abetting her suicide. He was arrested two days after Jiah's mother and sister found a six-page letter, supposedly written by Jiah before her death, blaming her boyfriend for ruining her life, cheating on her and forcing her to abort their child. 

Suraj Pancholi, 21, is the son of famous Bollywood actors Aditya Pancholi and Zarina Wahab, and had been dating Khan for about a year and was the last person to see her alive. Read excerpts from the very sad and touching six-page letter found in Jiah Khan's bedroom below:


I LOST MYSELF IN LOVING YOU': THE LETTER TO HER 'CHEATING' BOYFRIEND

'I don't know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I've already lost everything. If you're reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me every day.

These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I've never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn't matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely.

When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don't know why destiny brought us together.

After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn't deserve this. I didn't see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically.

Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So, I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood... 

You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents... You never appreciated my love, kicked me in the face... The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply... I wish you had loved me like I loved you... I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again...'

3 comments:

  1. So, So sad. All the girl wanted was his love and care.
    But you can't expect all she expected from a 21 year old.. I'm sorry but The way he acted(minus the physical abuse) is probably how most 21 year old guys would act. At that age, most aren't thinking of who they'll spend the rest of their lives with. They're most likely thinking of who they'll spend that night with.
    She seems like she had a gentle, beautiful soul. Sad that life had such cruel plans for her.

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  2. Life didn't have cruel plans for her, she decided to make her life cruel by all her hopes, trust, and happiness on a man. She was a spoilt brat if not, there are people in life facing much worse and horrible situations yet they are still struggling and believing things will be better for them. She had enough to eat, drink and clothes and shelter and the love of her family, yet she chose to throw all that away for a man, a very young man at that.

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  3. People walk around looking pretty and put together, with a smile on their faces, but are fighting so many demons(depression, anger, the feeling of worthlessness, addiction, e.t.c).
    From her letter, we can see that she was obviously unstable, having gone through traumatic experiences(like rape when she was younger and abortion later on) so who are we to judge too quickly?? Not everybody is as emotionally strong as you. Even the bible says that those who are weak in faith should be carried along by those who are much stronger. Her family should have seen the signs and given her the much needed support. What she did was wrong but I can't bring myself to say more than what I said earlier. Judge nat if you nor want another pesin to judge you.

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