Saturday, 8 December 2012

MY HUSBAND DESPERATELY WANTS A BABY BUT I'M TOO TERRIFIED OF CHILDBIRTH

Dear RDB Readers,

I will be 23 at the end of the year - the age women all over the world start thinking about having babies. At 27 my husband's baby-ready. However, I'm not prepared - or think it's not the right time. I'd love a baby, but the thought terrifies me. Talking about it brings me to tears. I switch off programmes about pregnancy. Baby adverts get me thinking for hours about the blood and pain. Being around kids makes me uncomfortable as I'm always watching my husband staring with stars in his eyes.

I regularly catch him cuddling, kissing and feeding friends' babies and all I can think is that I'm running out of time. I've talked to my husband who says he understands I'm scared, but then comes out with that famous line I hear every time I talk to someone about this: 'It's normal to be nervous, but it's what women's bodies are designed to do.'

Argh, I hate that! It's NOT natural to be painfully ripped open. I can't see myself handling the baby either, as my husband works morning to late in the evening so we can't split the care like normal couples.

I'm never going to sleep and I'm worried that as I'm already fairly (extremely) stressed about this I'm going to get depressed and hurt the baby. Because of all this, my fear is outweighing my want for a baby right now and I'm concerned that the magic motherly switch is never going to come. I'm told that most fears come from lack of knowledge, but the more I read, the worse it gets. Should I talk to a therapist or something? What do I do because I really want to overcome this fear?
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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous9 December 2012 at 17:16

    Shouldn't you have discussed this with your husband before getting married? Well, you know what they say about no pain no gain. You want a child, gotta go through the pain. You can use epidural procedure (if you're abroad).

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  2. Anonymous9 December 2012 at 17:18

    LOL lady you're way too young to be married. Eventually you will get past your fear but seriously most of the reasons you stated are trivial. If you're so afraid of the pain hey you have epidural or CS.

    Talking about your husband working late and won't have time to take care of a baby with you like "normal couples", lol. You've been watching way too many movies except of 'cos you don't live in Nigeria. Meet a shrink if you have to. I still don't see the problem here really as I've friends (married and umarried) who have sworn of babies and by choice of 'cos. But in your case,you married a baby man. Best of luck.

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