JOKE OF THE DAY

A Really Bad Day

 There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

ANDY RODDICK SET TO RETIRE AFTER US OPEN

The top American man for the last decade, and the last American to win a Grand Slam event, will retire from tennis after the U.S Open. Roddick made this announcement in a news conference today.

Roddick has battled injuries in the last couple of years, including this year, he said  he felt it coming.

Roddick has 32 career ATP World Tour titles. He has four doubles titles. He reached No. 1 in the world for the first time in November 2003, becoming the youngest American (21 years, 3 months) to end the year at No. 1.

He is a three-time Wimbledon finalist (2004-05, '09), losing to Roger Federer each time.

Roddick also owns 33 Davis Cup victories, second in U.S. Davis Cup history, and he helped lead the U.S.A to a Davis Cup title in 2007.

He will be missed by his fans.

PREGNANT WOMAN DELIVERS ON BOARD AIRCRAFT

A 35 year-old pregnant woman gave birth on board Emirates flight from Dubai to Manila, forcing the pilot to make an emergency landing in Vietnam. The Filipina woman gave birth to a baby boy in the bathroom of a the plane. The proud mom, identified only as Nedz, and her husband planned to name the boy EK - the Middle East airline's flight code.

Nedz, who was six months pregnant, went into labor on August 22 aboard the long- distance flight two and a half hours before touchdown. She eventually gave birth in the bathroom, and the baby was swaddled in airline blankets.
The youngest passenger was also having trouble breathing , so the crew gave him an oxygen mask.
When the plane landed, the family was rushed to a local hospital where the little boy remained in the neonatal unit.

CHUDDY K DROPPED FROM HEADIES 'NEXT RATED' CATEGORY

 

 

The 'Go Gaga" singer has been dropped from the next rated category of  The Headies 2012 Awards. This is coming less than 24 hours after the organizers released the list of nominees for the 2012 edition of the awards. 

According to the organizers, he was dropped because he released his debut album 'I am Me" in 2010, next rated nominees must be unreleased as at the time of the nomination.

A statement released by the organizers of the awards states, 'Evidence has emerged that Chuddy K previously released an album titled "I am Me" in 2012 and therefore will not be listed in the Next Rated Category'.

Chuddy K has been replaced by upcoming rapper, Flossick.

50 CENTS' LONG TIME MANAGER COMMITS SUICIDE

 

Music Executive, Chris Lightly, 44, has died. He was found dead in his home this morning. The hip hop veteran apparently shot himself in the head in his Bronx apartment. He was found this morning with a gun next to his body. He was 50 Cents' manager. It was reported that he may be dealing with financial issues following a divorce last year which included owing millions to the IRS.

Lighty's last tweet on Aug. 28 says, "Life is about perspective. It's not what you see, but how you see it. What you see is what you get."

Why do people do this? It's the coward's way out.  So sad. May he RIP.

KSB ATTACKS WANDE COAL, DON JAZZY OVER NUDITY IN VIDEOS

Top Nigerian Gospel Singer Kenny Saint Best, has lashed out at Mavin  Record Boss, Don Jazzy and his artiste, Wande Coal over the nudity contained in his new video, 'Go Low'. She told them to stop bringing nudity back into Nigerian mucic videos as this is leading to the  increase in rape cases in the country or be stopped by God.

KSB said, "Naked girl in Wande Coal's new video is a thumb down from me. We have kids watching. You are bringing nudity back to Nigerian [music] videos to increase cases of rape in our society. It has stopped. Please stop it.
"We don't want rape cases to increase. Please Wande Coal and Don Jazzy, stop this nudity in your music videos before God stops you. My dear brother (Wande Coal), the mercy and the favour of God were the elements that brought you this far, not nude girls in your music video. I say NO to NUDITY."

I think nudity in videos should be banned. We have kids watching this videos and that it's ok to get naked in front of a camera is not the kind of message we want to pass to them. Just saying.

          

HEADIES 2012 NOMINEE LIST OUT

 

One of Africa's most prestigious music award, The Headies a.k.a Hip Hop World Award, is here. The organizers of the event announced Omawunmi and M.I as the host of this years event slated for 20th October, 2012 to be held at the Exhibition Center, Eko Hotel and Suites, Victoria Island, Lagos.
This year's leading nominees are P-Square and Bez with six nominations each. Others include Davido, Wiz Kid and Ice Prince with four nominations.

The full list after the cut...

ANNIE MACAULAY IDIBIA VACATIONS IN NEW YORK

Mrs Idibia chilling in NYC. Looking lovely.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

LASTMA official fighting on duty. lol.

ARMED ROBBERY ATTACK AT FINBANK, ISOLO WAY, TWO DEAD

Armed robbers attacked FinBank located on Isolo way, Ajao Estate yesterday killing two people, an okada driver and a police man, in the process.

Sad.

DANA CRASH: RELATIVES OF VICTIMS TO RECEIVE N2.48B IN COMPENSATION

The insurance companies that insured the Dana Aircraft that crashed in Lagos on June 3, is expected to pay N2.48bn in compensation to relatives of the 153 passengers who died in the accident. Each passenger of the ill-fated plane was insured for $100,000, while each of the four cabin crew members and two pilots were insured for $150,000 and $250,000 respectively.

This means the family of each of the passengers will get $100,000 or about N15.7m, for the four crew members, their families will get N23.55m each, while the respective families of the pilot and the co-pilot will be given N39.25m each, totaling about N2.48b

The compensation will be paid upon verification of the rightful beneficiaries.

I really hope this gets done on time 'cos knowing Nigeria, they will drag  the process for so long until the beneficiaries give up.

BILL AND GUILIANA RANCIC WELCOME SON!!!

The couple welcomed their son yesterday night via surrogate after struggling with infertility, miscarriage, and a breast cancer battle for Guiliana. The couple announced via Twitter this morning.
“The ‘Duke’ has landed! Edward Duke Rancic was welcomed into the world last night at 7lbs 4oz,” the Apprentice winner writes. “G & I feel blessed beyond words…We did it!”

Big congrats to them. 

CYNTHIA'S MURDER: HOTEL SACKS EMPLOYEES FOR NEGLIGENCE

Cosmilla Hotel, Amuwo Odofin, has sacked some of its employees following the murder of Cynthia Osokogu in the hotel. The hotel management was angry that no one suspected anything when the alleged murder was taking place despite the fact that Cynthia, who was in Room C1, fought her assailants and made a noise.

The hotel employees were also sacked for not verifying the true identity of her assailants, who used a fake name  to lodge at the hotel. Also, they failed to register Cynthia at the counter, as a result there was no record of Cynthia in the hotel which made it difficult for police to ascertain the identity of Cynthia. She was in the morgue for two weeks before her body was identified.

HOLLY MADISON, HUGH HEFNER'S EX, PREGNANT

  

Holly Madison, the ex-girlfriend of the 86 year old founder of Payboy, Hugh Hefner, is pregnant. She's expecting her first child with her boyfriend of nine years, party promoter Pasquale Rotella.

Madison, 33, hasn’t been shy about her desire to have children. She turned down the offer to renew her "Peepshow" contract in anticipation that she would eventually conceive.

"I've wanted kids and that's something I'm definitely doing as soon as possible, it is something that the time in my life is right for" says the blond beauty. She's 12 weeks along.

She wanted a baby with Hefner, but I definitely agree with her that right now is her time. Congrats girl.